Alternative Routes
It takes me about 45 minutes to get to work in the morning, which just borders on absurd. But my 60-75 minute commute home is just ricockulous (so ridiculous, it’s ricockulous). So, instead of habitually letting the Man fuck me in the ass and then handing him $.40, I’m trying to figure out alt. routes home.
Friday I wove through the banal cities of Park Ridge and South Park, both of which seem to have limited their entire decorating palette to poo brown. It’s a look. I didn’t save any time with my goofy circuitous route, but as I zoomed from Oakton to Devon to Bryn Mawr to Northwest Highway to Foster, I got to see things besides the metal Rexam building fucking blinding me in the sun.
Fat Predator – I swear to God! I saw this on Milwaukee. Ok, this store, according to the Web site, sells fat burning pills. Fine. However, this company also makes pills called Passion Predator that aid sexual performance. Very ew.
Stripper in a Jetta – This phrase reminds me of The Smiths’ “Vicar in a Tutu,” and like the character in that song, our neighborhood stripper “just wants to live [her] life [her] way.” How do I know she’s a stripper? Well, there’s not too many professions where highlighting the everloving fuck out of your hair is acceptable. Also, the curve-hugging, panne velvet tracksuit gave her away. Oh, and the fake boobs.
Strange Planning – There’s an entire stretch of the Northwest Highway populated only by printing companies on the west side and boxy apartments on the east side. Bizarre. Maybe it used to be a little workers ghetto. A localized Hershey, PA for printers.
I liked mixing it up, though. I’ll do the same today, with different streets. It pays not to pay attention to the road, I guess.
Eating: Cinnaraisin bagel. OJ. Will play it cool with the salad today. Word.
Watching: The third season of The Sopranos on DVD. Excellent.
Exercising: Cardio this wknd. Kickboxing tonight.
Coupons Used: Thanks, Entertainment Book. We’ve used coupons for McDonald’s (McFlurries!), Indian Garden, and Domino’s. Totally covered the cost of the book!
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