u s e y o u r h a n d s

Why the fuck do people give money to SaveKaryn.com? Jesus. Somebody should give her a kick in the ass and make her wear a shirt reading “I’m a fucking spendthrift tart. Please pinch me if I try to buy anything.” What really bothers me about her is that she’s so self-righteous about her sudden frugality. I’m glad she has discovered that “Oil of Olay really works” but some of us never thought to buy ridiculously priced ablutions. Props for us, I guess. Someone give me a damn dime.

There were no chickpeas yesterday. I was unhappy and confused about what to do, salad-wise. Peedge laughed at my webbity yesterday, claiming I have OCD. I do not have OCD. I am particular. And then I went on to tell him exactly how I always eat pinto beans when they are found in soup. I clean the bean of any soup scum with my tongue (whilst in my mouth). Then, I smash the bean to bits with my tongue, acting as a pestle. I like the starchy white beaniness on the roof of my mouth.

We attended last night’s Field Museum after hours with mixed results. The exhibits were good, but they had no hors d’oeuvres. The admission came with drink tickets and they didn’t think of hors d’oeuvres? Everybody was pawing through the Corner Bakery’s selection of pre-made sammitches. P-Jo and I dined on PB&Js. Also, so not a good idea to have loud music in a marble hall. Also, you should really light the sidewalk from the parking lot. We live in a dangerous world.

Oh, hey, still need a jobbity. I can write words. Please help.

Listening to the ultra-bitchin’ Lamb self-titled debut (1997, Fontana). Totally awesome. Their music is what would happen if you mated Beth Orton with Roni Size. Or thereabouts. Very interesting. Dizzamn, I’ve got to give this disc a play more often.

You know the smell of a recently microwaved Michelina’s or Budget Gourmet entree? That weird wet cardboard/warehouse smell? I’m smelling that now.

Eatin’: Let’s just say I hope there’s chickpeas today. Last night, we sated our grumbly tums at the Fireside on Ravenswood. Good grub, nice environs, nice selection of nums.

Goin’: p-Jo and I are hitting up River North art openings tonight. Free wine, things to mock, things to envy.

Knowin’: Just how fly I am!