u s e y o u r h a n d s

Hello, all. It’s been a pretty frantic week, what with my birthday, snow and the holiday. My take on the snow? It either looks like bits of lace or mutant lice falling from the sky. It’s a health hazard. It requires dogs to wear clothes. It is novel and pretty.

Back to the MC – These Missed Connections are taken from the most recent issue of the Chicago Reader. The stories below them come out of the ads, but aren’t necessarily in response to the ads. Enjoy!

GUILIO CESARE, 10/8. You: cute, color TV repair T-shirt, groovy smile, waiting, reading about Archigram. Me: dark hair and eyes, black turtleneck and jeans, but lighter on the inside. Couldn’t find you again once I lost you. If you like guys and hat tracheotomies, call me.

Formed in 1961 by Peter Cook, Archigram was an iconoclastic reaction to working life in the conservative British architectural firms of the day. An aesthetic alliance of childhood friends, this latter version of “Les Six” formulated their ideas in a magazine called Architectural Telegram, from which their name has been adopted. Along with Cook, Michael Webb, Dennis Crompton, David Green, Warren Chalk, and Ron Herron all believed architecture should be an instrument of social progress that incorporated everything from technology to Pop art to personal freedom. One might say Roy Lichtenstein occupied their minds more than the Bauhaus, as one of their tenets asserts, “The prepacked frozen lunch is more important than Palladio.” source

JACKIE LOOKING FOR Gil. Met you a couple of years back at a bus stop on 19th and Western. I hope you’re still here and not in California. One of our dates was at Crobar. Call me if you remember me.

Most of these ads, I’m convinced, never reach their intended targets. If your MC spots your MC ad, what’s in their mind? Golly! Jackie, on one hand, hoped he’d find Gil and that all would be roses. On the other hand, although Jackie wanted to say he’d tried looking, he hoped Gil would never see the ad. How embarassing. Or maybe how romantic?

EVANSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY, Sunday 11/17. Made eye contact, you sat near me, left at the same time, walked along together until you ducked into Barnes & Noble. Me: cute fat girl, jeans, long dark hair. You: tall, light brown-blond short hair. Looked like you had something to say. What was it?

The tall man wore cologne that filled their corner, reacting oddly with the standard-issue library smell of dust, old paper, and the elderly. The spicy scent, like a drifter arriving in a small backwater, was a strange – but not unwelcome – change. In a doctor’s visit last week, Greg’d learned the freckle on his hand was a melanoma. The doctor burned it off on the spot and warned Greg to be vigilant. He chose the corner of the library for leafing through a medical text will full-color pictures of Australian melanoma patients, faces half-eaten by cancer. He never looked up.

ELECTRIC REDHEAD BROWSING the stacks at Barnes & Noble on Webster. I was looking for something to read when a glint from the pendulum attracted me to you. I am your dark-haired mustachioed opposite who found you stunningly beautiful.

I started this project because I’ve read the MCs for years, looking for an ad about me. I’ll come across ads that sort of sound like me, but due to space constraints, don’t contain necessary details. I was drawn to this ad because I have red(dish) hair and often go to the Webster B&N because it’s next to my gym. The mustachioed often find me stunningly beautiful for it is their way. But a pendulum? Was that the time I was learning to hypnotize men for power and profit? Or was that the time I was reading the pop-up book about Bi-Polar Disorder?

Reading: Just finished Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. Besides Peedge, he’s my favorite humbug. Halfway through Franny and Zooey.

Eating: I finished a whole pecan pie from Costco. If you’ve ever been to Costco, think about how large that pie must have been.

Starting: A new contract jobbity on Tuesday. Go Schaumburg!

I turn 24 today.

A strange birthday. I know I won’t be doing anything tonight except making dinner with Phineas and maybe going to kickboxing. It’s hard being isolated in a new city. I know I’ve been here seven months or so, but it still feels foreign, still feels unwelcoming.

I’m going to hunker down with some Harry Potter and a nice glass of cheapo champagne. Maybe I’ll take a bath later. There’s nothing more scrumptious than a bath with a cold, bubbly beverage, whatever form it takes.

Oh, I must discuss the lesbian burlesque show briefly. So fabulous. I’ve been quite a burlesque fan for some time, but even more so now. I definitely enjoyed the wild dancer who poured an entire bag of sugar on herself in the course of her dance. I also enjoyed the pasty-twirling pro and I’m very sad I missed out on her workshop at Early to Bed last week. However, my favorite wasn’t a very good dancer, but she was very, very pretty and wore discreet feathers. Yowza!

I was seriously dolled up for the event. The whole thing made me want to participate. Shall I take it off to a medley from Sweet Charity?

Say you, say me!

Eating: Peedge treated me to a cheese danish from the Swedish Bakery. Quelle decadent.

Drinking: Champagne!

Working Out: There are no calories on your birthday. I’m going to kickbox it up this week, even on T-Day.

I turn 24 today.

A strange birthday. I know I won’t be doing anything tonight except making dinner with Phineas and maybe going to kickboxing. It’s hard being isolated in a new city. I know I’ve been here seven months or so, but it still feels foreign, still feels unwelcoming.

I’m going to hunker down with some Harry Potter and a nice glass of cheapo champagne. Maybe I’ll take a bath later. There’s nothing more scrumptious than a bath with a cold, bubbly beverage, whatever form it takes.

Oh, I must discuss the lesbian burlesque show briefly. So fabulous. I’ve been quite a burlesque fan for some time, but even more so now. I definitely enjoyed the wild dancer who poured an entire bag of sugar on herself in the course of her dance. I also enjoyed the pasty-twirling pro and I’m very sad I missed out on her workshop at Early to Bed last week. However, my favorite wasn’t a very good dancer, but she was very, very pretty and wore discreet feathers. Yowza!

I was seriously dolled up for the event. The whole thing made me want to participate. Shall I take it off to a medley from Sweet Charity?

Say you, say me!

Eating: Peedge treated me to a cheese danish from the Swedish Bakery. Quelle decadent.

Drinking: Champagne!

Working Out: There are no calories on your birthday. I’m going to kickbox it up this week, even on T-Day.