Friday Missed Connections
These Missed Connections ads were taken from the current issue of the Chicago Reader. I wrote the little stories under the ads in response to reading these ads.
BIKE MESSENGER SPOTTED twice–is it fate? You: male, dark and thin with glasses. I (cute female) spotted you first at the Exit, passed out on the couch upstairs, and then you delivered a package to my work. Pedal back into my life?
After phases as trixie, lipstick lesbian, and pseudo intellectual, Kelly had once again trainsformed herself, this time as punk professional. She’d been to the Exit a few times looking for a cleverly tattooed guy with nice teeth and a college degree. Spotting him on the couch and then in his cute bike messenger uniform, Kelly could easily see him in a nice suit with a cool haircut. With just a little work.
BLACK BOOTS, BLACK hat over your long dark hair, on Chestnut Street with your older blonde friend, waiting for cab on a rainy day. You slapped my butt and told me to get out of the cold. Would have loved to say hello but shy and in hurry. Coffee? Chat? Another tush slap?
She was nervous about the intervention, but seriously hoped that today had been the last time she watched her sister get drunk on tequila over lunch. Trish’s sister Kate is the kind of life-of-the-party gal that’s great to know in college, but as she aged, became a cautionary tale. Kate won’t see this ad in rehab, but Trish saw it and threw it in the recycling.
PUB CRAWL 10/31, Miss Rambo (better known as Rambett). We exchanged a few words. Would like to exchange a few more. Call or E-Match. Raider.
A persistent case of colitis had pretty much killed Beth’s love life, but lately, she’d been giving it a final go. Beth really hoped she’d eventually find a guy who would be nice about it, but she found no takers. Kurt met her briefly at a bar and was enchanted by her quiet reserve. Beth tentatively replied to this ad. After several really good dates, Beth finally told him about her problem. Shrugging, he asked what the big deal was.
Eating: A chicken biryani meal from Trader Joe’s. I fucking love you Trader Joe’s.
Working Out: 40 min of cardio this morn.
Wanting: Warm goat cheese over Carr’s water crackers. Nummy.
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