u s e y o u r h a n d s

I enjoy New Year’s because it’s one of the few times of year that I get to drink champagne and not look like a decadent floozy. But, like my birthday, it’s a time for reflection and planning. Like every other blog in the world today, I post my New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Lose the other 40 lbs. By the end of May. I’ve done it once, now it’s time to finish the job.

2. Learn how to run so I can do triathlons.

3. Keep up the reading regimen.

4. Keep writing. Complete something.

5. Find job. Like job.

6. Acquire friends.

7. Win lottery.

8. Soothe the carpal tunnel beast living in my wrist.

9. Pay off debt.

10. Get “Groove is in the Heart” out of my head. Now, many people get songs stuck in their head for a day or week, but I get them lodged for years. I finallly got over the Will Smith version of “Just the Two of Us” only to have it replaced with the Dee-Lite song. The line “My succotash wish” haunts me greatly. The Song even forced me to progam that line to flash when I activate my cell phone. It’s a sickness. Help.

Reading: A cookbook. I’m cooking dinner tonight.

Eating and Drinking: Everything.

The Peedger and I celebrated one year together on Saturday. I think both of us are none too suprised that we’ve managed to stay together for a whole year, especially living in the same house for most of that time. It’s astonishing to me. And although there’s been a lot of unhappy times, we are planning to try for another year. He’s a quality product, the Phineas. I have no idea why any of the women in Chicago never recognized that.

There’s a magnet in me that’s constantly attracted to the entity Depression. I always feel a pull towards unhappiness and it takes so much effort to resist. I had a moment this weekend when I just gave in to being unhappy, but only let myself wallow for a half-hour or so. Then I went outside. Everything was much better.

Today’s the last day of my contract with a division of United Airlines. The search for jobbity resumes. I would really like to have a job by the end of March. That will make a year in Chicago, and I’d really like to start my second year here not hating this city. I need money in order to make friends. That’s how it works. You get a job, you get money. The money allows you to go out, do neat stuff. That’s when you make friends. So, job, money, friends.

Reading: I went to the library this weekend and got three more Barbara Pyms. Currently reading an early book with a really goofy title I can’t remember.

Eating: This morning, I’ve had a nanner and a couple xmas cookies. Last night, I took a hot bath with a bunch of ginger in it. You should try it. You sweat a lot. I look wonderful!

Drinking: Woodchuck hard apple cider. Yum! There’s nothing better to drink in the bathtub. Also, we bought a good bottle of champ and a cheap bottle of champ for our anniversary. The cheapie turned out to be wonderfully pearry and sweet. Go, Ballatore.

We are back from Colorado. Let me tell you all about it.

I nearly didn’t go. My panic attack started at our departure gate. With six vicoprofen in my system, I started sobbing and begging Phineas not to make me fly. This continued during the flight. At some point, I yelped, much to the chagrin of other passengers and flight attendants. Phineas claims that I tried to bite him.

Phineas has a nice family. They bought me gifts, including a bottle of hand cream with a distinctive odor we’re sure is “Old Lady Soul,” though listed only as “fragrance” in the ingredient list. I got to stay in the girliest room on the planet. Mauve walls, tons of dried flowers, dolls, and decorative hats. ! Arranged on a bureau was a tableau of lace-edged handkerchief, pearls, and black opera gloves. Nobody got really drunk and then screamed at how ungrateful I was. Wow! Nobody ridiculed my gifts. They actually seemed to enjoy each other’s company.

We borrowed the car and Phineas drove us to Boulder where we took a tour of the Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory. He was forced to wear a hairnet on his head and his beard. This made me laugh. Our experience inside the infamous Mint Room was interesting. To duplicate the experience of being in a room stocked with mint, get a bucket of Vapo-Rub and stick your head it it. There. It’s like that.

We scuttled around Denver’s famous 16th Street outdoor mall gathering xmas gifts. Denver’s paucity of crazy buskers is disturbing. No psychic cats, no silver-painted breakdancer. Instead of getting down with me at this dance club, Phineas lured me to a brew pub in Ft. Collins called Cooper Smith’s to meet his best friend Anne.

We spent an inordinate amount of time watching movies and flipping through channels trying to find the Yule Log. A channel had advertised “Two hours of commercial-free Yule Log.” Basically, they were going to broadcast an image of a burning log with xmas carols in the background. How bitchingly tacky is that? But they welched, because we couldn’t find it.

What else? Oh, yes. I had to work from afar for the dumb United affiliate. The computer I was provided with has a bum modem and they couldn’t rustle up a wireless jobber for me. This is their Internet division and they couldn’t score me a wireless card. Suckaz. I did ok, though.

On the way home, I abstained from the vicoprofen and did a lot better on the flight. No tears at all and minimal panicking. The flight was terribly smooth and we got to watch Blue Crush! The Karate Kid of chick surfing movies! It is not a good movie!

Reading: Nearly done with A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami. Damn, that man is a good writer.

Working out: We didn’t work out at all when we were in Colorado, so we’re hitting the gym hard now.

Contemplating: My New Year’s Resolution.