u s e y o u r h a n d s

Circa 1984, San Joaquin Valley: My brothers and I would lunch at a small “kid’s table” in the kitchen. This little card table was the scene of much torture for the youngest Bisnett child, Brett, just 3-years-old. Robby and I would begin eating our lunches while my mother woke Brett up from his mid-day nap. During this non-supervised interlude, we’d take little bites out of Brett’s sandwich. When he came to the table, bleary-eyed and hungry, he saw the bites and would ask what happened. Robby and I would tell him that mice had gotten into his sandwich and we didn’t bother to stop them. And then Brett would cry.

When I think about these lunchtime episodes, the most prominent thing isn’t the sibling torture inflicted on my youngest brother, but rather the lunch itself. PB & J on white, fritos, and milk. I hate white bread now and haven’t bought it in years. I’d rather die than betray WOW! Nacho Cheese chips and eat Fritos. Milk makes me phlegmy and if I drink it, it’s gotta be “tafnon klim.” But collectively, it’s a superb meal. The salty Fritos contrast delightfully with the sweet sandwich fixins.

I lived in Fresno for a while with Robby. One of my favorite hangouts was the Tower District, a surprisingly hip area with good used book/clothing shops, music venues, and toothsome restaurants. Grandmarie’s Chicken Pie Shop has been in the area for something like 80 years and looks it. When Rob and I cruised in for a fatty, filling dinner, the Chicken Pie Shop delivered. I got the eponymous pie, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and biscuits. It was all heart-hurtful and delicious and, at five bucks, totally cheap. We were just about to pay the tab and leave when the sexogenarian waitress asked us what we’d like for dessert. We were full and waved her away when she let us know that dessert was included in the $5 price. Well, sure, we’ll be more than happy to have some apple brown betty. Bring it on.

I’m not even hungry today, but I have a hellacious migraine and I need comfort. Why I’m thinking about being a kid is astounding to me because I was a very unhappy kid. That’s not comforting. Living in Fresno was a much better time because I created my own happiness. Food, though, transcends situation and is always good. Even when it’s bad.

Need to buy: Spray shellac. Someone remind me.

Need to do: Open a bank account. I haven’t had one since last May.

Need to get: Clarity, discipline, kindness.