u s e y o u r h a n d s

I’m making good on Monday’s promise to resume Friday’s Missed Connections after last week’s bye. I hope you show me the love in the comments section.

Explanation: As on most Fridays here at UseYourHands, I select Missed Connection/Chance Meeting/I Saw You ads from weeklies around the country. If you know of a great weekly, recommend it to me. The ad comes first, and the story growing out of the ad follows.

HOBBY LOBBY. HANDSOME man with glasses and khakis monday afternoon. You looked for prints and frames. I was with friend. We said hi. I waved goodbye. Coffee? (Austin Chronicle)

Veronica was looking for embroidery floss to make friendship bracelets in an attempt to express kindness toward friends through irony. She carefully selected aquamarine, magenta, and pink. She was rooting around for a purple skein when a flash of color turned her head. Tom was flipping through a bin of shrink-wrapped prints. He’d just lifted up a Matisse. Veronica held her breath in hope that he’d select it. It was one of her favorites.

EASTER SUNDAY, EDDIE Bauer on Michigan Avenue. You helped me pick out boxers. Me: woman with long blonde hair. You: attractive, looked like you were coming from/ going to gym. Wished me Happy Easter on the way out. Wish we’d chatted more. (Chicago Reader)

At minute ten of her workout on the Stairmaster, it suddenly occurred to Becky that the guy in Eddie Bauer might have thought she’d been flirting with him. Just a few nights ago, she’d been aghast when a few of her platonic male friends told her she had this extraordinarily flirtatious manner. She didn’t want to be a woman like that.

RABBIT HOLE BARTENDER Saturday 4/5. You: Hottie bearded bartender with glasses. Me: Drunk, cute, ate garlic bread and drooled while watching you. I thought we exchanged a look. I sure am interested, let me know if you were. You sang, “Mrs. Robinson” (Portland Mercury)

Karen and Sheila met up every Saturday for brunch and then spent the rest of the morning dawdling over the paper. This ad just jumped out at Sheila, who liked to make fun of the people who’d place them. She read the ad then yelled, “Yeah, girlfriend, he probably sang ‘Mrs. Robinson’ because you were way, way older! Jesus!” Karen’s head snapped up from the lifestyle section to scream, “We’re the same age, Sheila. Get off of my back.”

BLONDE MAN, DARK BLUE BMW I saw you having breakfast at Scarlet Tree In January. You R 40ish, you wore black caoat & jeans. I was the blonde woman staring at you. I can talk now. Would like to see your smile! (Seattle Weekly)

She paced around in a circle as she took a call for what sounded like her dream job, but he still caught her eye. His fork was poised in mid-air with a bite of French toast. She suppressed a little laugh before telling this potential employer what a great multitasker she was as she carefully studied the way he casually tossed money on the table and jauntily hopped in his newly buffed BMW.