u s e y o u r h a n d s

A friend is shaking the long stick of expectation at me. I appreciate this. And so, I’ll have a Carrie Bradshaw moment and ask How can I gain motivation to actually do something?

At first, she thought it was Marilyn Monroe, but when Katie flipped back to the channel, it just looked like Marilyn, but it wasn’t. “Starring Jayne Mansfield” said the announcer. The movie looked dumb. Katie flipped around again and stopped once more when Jayne Mansfield’s figure filled the screen. She walked, but unlike any woman Katie’d ever seen. And she wanted to be just like Jayne.

The fifty feet from her front door to the mailbox became Katie’s runway. An eight-year-old girl in bare feet and shorts rolling her hips and jutting out her nonexistant chest. At first, she drunkenly sashaying from side to side, listing on the grass. But soon she felt high heels grow on her flat feet and sequins sheen her demin.

And then she was Jayne, walking each day to get the mail. Passersby always stopped and wondered why the Jacobs’ had a showgirl in their house. Maybe it was a crazy aunt that only came out for the mail. Katie never noticed; she only walked for herself.

The part where I talk about why I’m too afraid to move

Lately, whenever I have to think about anything troubling, I can only hear song lyrics from mournful, moody songs. And that’s quite kind of my brain, but I’d actually like to figure out why I lack the motivation needed to really attempt something difficult. Maybe if I find just the right song….