u s e y o u r h a n d s

Shakeshakeshake. Hear that? shakeshakeshake What’s the sound? It’s pill time, Gs. Is there anything better than taking big giant pills with coffee? Yes, there is. And that’s taking them with wine.

I finished Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. My feelings are mixed. Although it is a wonderful book. it’s left me with this sad feeling. That I’ll never do anything as magnificent. I keep looking for the thing I do perfectly. And so far, I’m not sure that I’ve found it.

Water rings, I don’t really care about. It’s the trivets with their knobby legs and heat seeping through anyway. I can take a lot, but I’m almost at my breaking point with those fucking trivets. My feelings on tablecloths? Lukewarm. Depends on the cloth. Cotton? Sure, no problem, plus it’s washable. Those vinyl pieces of shit? No way. High-class linen? Love it, but it’s a lot of pressure. You watch those wine glasses like a fucking hawk. The best is when the cats jump on me. Their little feet, a slight pressure like a massage. Heavenly.

Rufus Wainwright at Ravinia. I will brave the vast crowds of Chardonnay-gulping white people to hear this little gay genius sing.