u s e y o u r h a n d s

I’ve been busy.

I started a new job at an ad agency downtown. This is nice because I’ve wanted to work at an agency for sometime; i’ll learn a lot and “make contacts.” Plus, the office is located on the top floor of a Michigan Avenue building with good views of both Millennium Park and the Chicago River. It’s colorful as opposed to corporate gray. And, perhaps most importantly, my boss is not a hateful, passive-agressive bitch. Frabjous day!

I’ve been all sad lately, though, as a result of sporadic ingestion of psychopharmaceutica and endless mental debate. The less said about that the better.

Item I Meant to Blog #1:

I never looked up from my book. During the entire bus ride, I sat on top of that round spinny disk connecting a long bus. And since the driver was hauling ass down LSD, every time the bus shuddered or shook, the disk and consequently my seat, jumped. I chirped. A girl sat next to me. For the next 15 minutes, instead of reading, I breathed in her smell – a combination of cocoa butter, soft floral perfume, and girl sweat.

Item I Meant to Blog #2:

Ugh. I’m constantly hounded by this idea/fear/complex that I’m about to be fired. I don’t feel that my work is good. Sometimes, I’m convinced these people think I’m a moron. This follows me from job to job. And I’ve never been fired. And I’m not a moron. Ish. Ly.

Item I Meant to Blog #3:

I had a good time last night. Hanging out with cool people in a cute bar. Telling racy/funny/poignant stories. Eating $1. Speaking in fragments.

All the while, a tv played footage of beefcakey men in thongs dancing on a boat. Thankfully, this was behind me. I don’t need that much pee-pee in my life.

Item I Meant to Blog #4:

This happened today:

Brian yelled “Oh, shit!!”

“What?” I asked, thinking Princess had puked up another champeen-sized hairball.

“The van across the street is on fire!”

I went into the living room and provided confirmation that yes, the van across the street was indeed on fire. While he looked for the phone and then called 911, I enjoyed watching the motherfucker burn. Burn, motherfucker, burn!

Glass melted and slid down the back of the van and metal panels buckled and popped. The fire, which inexplicably began in the back of the van, was undoubtedly the result of arson. Which is kind of cool, except when the burning van starts to stink.

Conclusion: Firemen are “cool.”