u s e y o u r h a n d s

We got married in a giant blur filled with sparkling seaweed and technicolor dolphins.

Married.

Sure, I had a bridezilla moment or two, but all in all, things went wonderfully. Everyone had a good time. Everyone ate. People got drunk. Someone threw up. All the cake was gobbled up. There was dancing. The DJ played Morrissey. I cried. We smiled. I hugged everyone.

I couldn’t have done it without my set-up crew, who were patient and proactive. I am forever grateful. To Naz, who took photos. To Andrew, who played the student body president. To Deanne and Peter, who did the balloons. To Matt, who was endlessly calm. To Deric, who was can-do all the way. To Robby, who was invaluable. To Leigh, who was a gem. To Wendy, who officially married us and who fed me. To Dawn and Leana, who put on my makeup. To Don, my boss, who conducted the ceremony and wielded the scissors.

People commented on the vows, saying they were geniune and clever. While Brian put his to paper, i knew if I did that i’d just cry through the whole thing. So I just thought about what I’d say and said it. I remember looking at the ceiling. I know I cried. But here’s about what I said, plus a bit of what I forgot to say:

A few weeks ago, we had the perfect day. We got up early and I made you breakfast. And you always like what I make and always eat it with thanks. And then we got coffee at that place that’s always too hot. You know exactly how I like my coffee and make it kitty-friendly. Then we went to the MCA, in the middle of the MusiCircus and all of the noise and spectacle. We enjoyed it all, thoroughly excited by the energy in the museum. And then our walk down Michigan Avenue in the rain, so much like a French film. You kissed me in the rain. We went to that playground by my office. And there was no sound except for the fountains, just the phenomenal skyline and the swings. We went up and down in perfect rhythm, enjoying the moment. Then we happened through Millennium Park, where Barenboim was rehearsing. We sat and listened and just enjoyed the harmony. And it wasn’t all perfect, but it was so close to perfect that I recognized – in the moment – how special that day was. How peaceful. And in a life not always full of peace or harmony or happiness, I was so pleased to be there will you.

Do you promise to give me the room and time I need to grow to be the person I want to be?

Do you promise to be patient with me, always, even when I’m not patient in return?

Do you promise to remain active, always searching for new ideas and experiences?

To each question, Brian responded, “I promise I will try.” We thought that was honest, a standard to which we could rise. I hope to always try, though I know that sometimes I won’t succeed.

It’s been a week and a half. And so far, we’re doing just fine.