u s e y o u r h a n d s

I’m about to take the longest flight I’ve taken since my serious panic attacks have subsided. I’m about to fly with no drugs. No beta-blockers, no Xanax.

I took the metra home tonight and sat cater-corner from a man who was either seriously drunk or seriously depressed. He was stooped, slow, and ate a Corner Bakery caprese sammich slowly, dropping some of it. I wanted to ask him about his ex-wife Janice and his kids and his arthritis.

And i also thought of how much i like my sir, my cat man, my dude.

And now, even though I’m about to fly, even though i’m sort of nervous, i feel okay. okay. and i want to download “one night in bangkok” from itunes. and maybe eat some ice cream.

sigh. i want it all.