u s e y o u r h a n d s

This week was week one of childbirth preparation class. Instead of doing the more popular Bradley or Lamaze methods, we’re pursuing hypnotherapy for childbirth. It’s totally fascinating. The instructor says that we all have many different realities to choose from, and hypnotherapy allows you to choose the optimal reality. In this case, one could view the pain of childbirth as excruciating, permanent, unbearable or view it as a challenge, something to learn from, transitory. I’d like to try the latter!

It’s suddenly becoming very real that we’re having a baby. Plus, now I have the pieces of his crib rattling around my car, thanks to a weekend Craig’s List purchase. Today’s big project is cutting up all of our old ratty t-shirts into diaper wipes and rags. Now that we’ve got something to do instead of worry about what completely unidentifiable food item that I may or may not want to consume, suddenly being pregnant is fun.

We received a really nice baby gift for Gus from a friend the other day. It’s an Ugly Doll named OX, which stands for “Hugs and Kisses.” But something more came in the box than just the toy.

I started to think about me washing OX free of smushy food and puke. The cats trying to steal OX. But the most persistent image is of Gus as a little boy, dragging OX around by his green ears. I don’t have a really good idea of what Gus’ll look like, but I can see this very clearly. And feel it very deeply.

We just crossed the 24-week mark. My OB/GYN told me this is when Gus can survive in case anything happens, which made me feel a little relieved. But if everything goes well, I have four more months to think about Gus and OX, and all the fun we’ll have.