u s e y o u r h a n d s

In preparing for Gus’ arrival, I’ve been studying my hypnobirthing materials, reading positive stories of birth, and generally trying to think positive thoughts about this whole experience. It’s been very striking to me that in order to fully embrace the idea of a peaceful, natural labor and birth, I have to let go of judgment. Judging myself, my husband, the medical facility I’ve chosen. I have to accept that with practice, I will be what I need to be to have this experience. I have to accept that with patience, my husband will be an admirable birth partner and wonderful father. And I have to accept that with the research I’ve done, the medical practice and midwives I’ve chosen will help me shape the experience.

Since I’m ordinarily incredibly cynical and negative, this way of thinking has forced me to challenge a lot of my daily thoughts, not just the pregnancy/childrearing-oriented ones. I’ve had to challenge my natural tendency to judge people poorly for offenses big and small. While this doesn’t mean that I have suddenly started to tolerate some of the things which are my big pet peeves, it does mean that I’ve started to cease holding on to these feelings for as long as I have.

This letting go of holding on is something I’m thankful for and hope to continue to practice going forward.