u s e y o u r h a n d s

Enough

December 16th, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized

I have been struggling with my new role as a mother for nearly eight months. At first, I was totally overwhelmed by everything. Nearly every day was an almost unendurable exercise in both mental and physical torture. I did not think it would ever get better, even with weekly therapy. But after about four months, it did get better. Fall was pleasant and Gus and I seemed to come to some kind of understanding.

I think those days of security when I found some measure of competence were kind of a terrible trick. I haven’t had a day where I felt even mostly together in weeks. I don’t know how I made it through those first four months, but I can’t imagine having to relive them in the next four months of winter.

How does anyone do this?

3 comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Tweets that mention u s e y o u r h a n d s ยป Enough -- Topsy.com December 16th, 2009 9:24 am

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Katherine Stone, shylobisnett. shylobisnett said: New blog post on postpartum depression flare-up: http://useyourhands.com/2009/12/16/enough/ [...]

  2. Katherine Stone December 16th, 2009 9:26 am

    How does anyone do this? With help. You are not alone. Go here: http://postpartum.net/local-support/

  3. Shylo December 16th, 2009 2:16 pm

    Thanks, Katherine. What’s weird is that there are NO postpartum groups in Chicago. None. The closest one is an hour away. I think it’s so tough for women to get help for PPD when no resources, except for private therapy, are available. With the passage of the bill to make PPD screening mandatory, one would think that the situation might improve but where are doctors supposed to send women who screen as suffering from PPD? Tell them to drive an hour to a suburb?

    I’ve talked to my midwifery group who delivered my son about starting a PPD group and they’re looking into it, but in the meantime, I remain thankful for my mental health coverage.

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